Death, Guilt and Healing
I’m sitting in my office looking out over a wave of daffodils thinking how lucky I am to be alive today. The last few years have been treacherous for many and I know lots of you have empty chairs at your tables for one reason or another.
As heart breaking as this is, I feel today I’m being led to speak more openly about the truth of death as I see it.
From my own experiences of losing people I love, combined with being able to see and sense spirits, I feel it is soo important remind you all that however far away your loved ones feel, in truth they are only a breath away. They feel you, they hear you when you call their names, if you think you sense them or are being given a sign you are almost certainly right!
Recently I have heard many beautiful people crippling themselves with guilt over what they did or didn’t say or do to someone that has recently died - Guilt is so often a devastating side effect of grief, but the good news is it is NEVER too late to say something to your dead loved one if you carry the weight of unspoken things.
All you need to do is say their name, hold a photo of them, of even just imagine them in your mind - Breathe into your heart and then just speak - simply, openly, tell them whatever you wish you had said before they died - they WILL hear you and they will feel you as much as if they were still alive.
If it helps, write them a card or letter saying the things you want to say, address it to their name and put it in the post box..or burn it, either way - they will hear it.
When we’re working on forgiving ourselves for any (perceived) wrong doing I fell it's esspecially important to remember that we chose our experiences with people on Earth from a higher standpoint to EXPERIENCE each other, and grow from our interactions with each other, we are not here to please each other, we are here to be the most “us” version of ourselves we can be, that is our gift to the world.
Our experience is our treasure and if everyone had just given each other exactly what they wanted there would be no growth, no progress, no expansion – these are the treasures we give each other, and when we die we see and cherish this.
The bottom line is it is time to forgive yourself, as in actuality there is nothing there to forgive, it's cheesy but love really is the only filter through which people see things when they're dead.
Be gentle with yourself, life can be really tough, don’t make it tougher, be your best friend not your enemy and the world (and the other side) will be a better place for everyone.
Much love to you Jem.
If you are reading this it’s almost certainly because someone on the other side really wants you to see this today ❤
NB This also works if the person is still alive, the essence of your intention will find their heart wherever they are.
A little add on - I heard a lovely quote that said - instead of using the words "I miss" in relation to someone/something that's gone, using the words "I'm so grateful I had" makes it much easier on the heart (and also will encourage the Universe to bring you something/someone of a similar feel to fill the space).